It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
