he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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