I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
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what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
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He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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