Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
