I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Buhtt sex?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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