WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
