im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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