on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
