I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
