You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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