Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
