a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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