He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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