Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
