HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
