whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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