He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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