even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
