my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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