just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
