we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
