i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
