I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
