I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
