Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
