All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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