It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
