i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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