I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
