I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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