great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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