Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The adults are the big ones right?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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