I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
