I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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