yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
