I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
