Don't you send me to vm
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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