Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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