hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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