Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Did I show you my penis last night?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
