Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
