He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
that is very illegal...i love you.
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