If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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