Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize