How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he puts the penis in happiness.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
