What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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