Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
