I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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