are you still at the devil's house?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
