I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
