we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently you make a good broom.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
