I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
