Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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