fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
