Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
