im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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