Need sex. Gaining weight.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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