I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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