This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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