the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize