Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
