; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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